


Night Visions (Leave Me To Dream)

by sheisaflame



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-02 21:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheisaflame/pseuds/sheisaflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When someone you care about leaves you, you wonder if the pain will ever go away, if the nightmares will ever stop. You think you’ve reached the real darkness, the one from which you can’t run away.<br/>You don’t know that there’s something else, something way more cruel waiting for you.<br/>Numbness. It deprives you of everything, it paralyzes you to the point where you can’t see colors anymore, only an infinite ocean of grey.<br/>That, my friends, is the lowest point you could ever reach."<br/>Set after 2x16.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since the end of season 2, I've been trying so many times to imagine what could possibly happen (and what I would like to see) in the show that I've decided to write everything down. This story is the result of all my prayers/thoughts/theories about season 3.  
> This is also my first Bellarke fanfic and my first fanfic in English - yes, English isn't my first language - so if you see any mistakes or have any suggestions please feel free to comment below (politely, of course).  
> I hope you all like it!

**One**

  


Seven months.  
Seven months have passed since Mount Weather was defeated. Seven months have passed since that “May we meet again”. Seven months have passed since she left.  
Hell, seven months is a fucking long time.  
The first ten days were the worst. Standing in front of that gate for hours, day and night, just waiting for her to come back. I gave her ten days. I said to myself: “if she’s not back by then, she’s really gone. If she’s not back on the tenth day, you’ll never look for her again”.  
And so I did.  
It took me a while to be able to leave Camp for small trips. I was afraid of the woods. Too many memories. Eventually, I learned how to deal with them.  
The first time I had the courage to leave my tent was when Octavia and Lincoln started building their new house near the river. Helping them was a good distraction. I got to spend quite a lot of time alone with my sister, something that I hadn’t done in a very long time. It was pleasant. She was happy, Lincoln was happy, their new house radiated happiness. I was happy for them, which was already a lot considering what the past weeks had been like for me. But, of course, it didn’t last long.  
When someone you care about leaves you, you wonder if the pain will ever go away, if the nightmares will ever stop. You think you’ve reached the real darkness, the one from which you can’t run away.  
You don’t know that there’s something else, something way more cruel waiting for you.  
Numbness. It deprives you of everything, it paralyzes you to the point where you can’t see colors anymore, only an infinite ocean of grey.  
That, my friends, is the lowest point you could ever reach.  
On the bright side, making decisions has become way more easier than it was before. My indifference helps me calculate every single move, every single step we take. So far, Camp Jaha has been stronger than ever. The Sky People are safe, healthy and free.  
We’ve also reached an agreement with the Woods Clan. We live together, we cooperate, we help each other survive. They hunt for us and we provide them with weapons and medicine. Simple as that.  
Everyone says it wouldn’t have been possible without me. Without their leader. It’s a good feeling, knowing that my people are happy.  
If only I could actually _feel_ it.  
Winter is coming, everyone can sense it. It’s always the hardest season. It gets cold and dark outside and inside people’s minds. They start wondering if we’ll make it, if we’ll have enough supplies, enough energy to survive. But this time will be different. We have the Grounders on our side. Mount Weather has been defeated. The odds are in our favour.

“Bellamy, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you,” Echo’s voice distracts me from my thoughts. I see her shadow, she’s waiting outside my tent as she always does. Grounders from the Ice Nation care too much about discipline.  
“Yeah, sure.”  
She walks in with a smile on her face. I smile back.  
“You don’t have to wait outside every time.”  
“I don’t mind.”  
“I know.”  
I gesture towards one of the leather sofas Miller has built specifically for me. We sit in silence for a few minutes, but I don’t feel uncomfortable. That’s one of the many things I like about Echo. She can see through people and understand them without having to ask questions. I don’t like questions, especially the ones that start with “Bellamy” and end with “are you okay?”. Echo saw through me after what happened in Mount Weather, she saw how numb I was, she saw the void inside me and she discretely tried to fill it with her compassion. I would never be able to thank her enough.  
“Bellamy?”  
“Uh. Sorry. What did you say?”  
“Indra sent me here to get you. She said it’s an emergency.”  
“Get me? To go where?”  
“To Polis. She’s already on her way.”  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t know. She just said that she needed you. Octavia and Lincoln are with her.”  
It feels like my mind’s running, trying to figure out what might have happened, why Indra needs me so urgently. I’ve heard about Polis many times, I know it’s a sort of Grounder’s capital city. As Jasper once said, it’s “where all the magic happens”. Too bad I don’t believe in magic. Or in miracles.  
“Okay, I just need to get my stuff. I’ll meet you at the gate,” I tell her as I start looking for my backpack.  
“Of course. And…Bellamy?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Bring weapons.”  
I freeze.  
_You want forgiveness? Fine, I’ll give it to you._  
Fuck.  
_You’re forgiven._  
Fuck.  
_You have to come back with me._  
My hands start shaking slightly. It’s funny how two, simple words can bring back so many memories, so many forgotten words, details, moments. It’s funny how, after seven months, the desperate and hopeful Bellamy still hasn’t died. I’ve tried to hide him inside me, I’ve tried to forget about his existence, I’ve tried to suffocate his voice. I thought it had worked, I genuinely did, but apparently I’m weaker than I thought. __  
“Bellamy!” Once again, Echo’s voice brings me back to reality.  
“Get Jasper and Miller, I have to go talk to Kane,” I say, rushing out the door. I don’t need to see the worry in Echo’s eyes right now. What I need is a rifle. And God knows how many bullets.  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strange encounter.

**Two  
Milan // High Highs**

Nobody has said anything for the past three hours. The silence is getting on my nerves. Echo is walking next to me with a knife in her hand, just in case someone or something attacks us before we get to Polis. I wouldn’t mind, though. At least it would break this fucking tension.   
“How far are we?” Octavia asks. She’s holding her black sward, but she doesn’t seem nervous. Her features are relaxed. I keep staring at her and I can’t help but notice once again how much she’s changed in the past year. It’s crazy. She was just an innocent girl when we got to the ground, and now…she’s a woman. A grounder, but still an unbelievably beautiful woman. Our mother would be proud of her, of who she’s become. I wonder what she would think of me. If she’d think that I’m a monster for pulling that handle. For killing all those innocent people. Maybe she’d understand why I had to do it. I had to save Octavia, my little sister. I couldn’t break my promise.   
And…there was also _her_. The grief and confusion on her face, her shaky hands, her blue and scared eyes. I couldn’t let her do it, I couldn’t let her bear the pain all by herself. I had…I had to share that pain with her. I had to feel it. Doing it alone…it would have killed her. What I did was the only thing I could have done to prevent her from being broken.   
We were supposed to help each other put the pieces of us back together, but it’s impossible now. It’s over. The scars I bear, I’ll bear forever. No one’s going to put me back together. She left, and she’s not coming back.  
“Two days,” says Indra.  
“I still don’t understand why we didn’t take the horses.”  
“I don’t expect you to understand, Octavia.”  
They’re always like this. Indra and Octavia. Always fighting, always arguing about the smallest things. But…I’ve seen the look on my sister’s face when she looks at Indra. I think she sees her as a second mother. A person who inspires her and makes her feel loved, but also someone who constantly challenges her to make her stronger. That’s what she loves about Indra. The fact that she never tells her what to do. I used to try to control her, but I was wrong. I hadn’t realized that what she needed was freedom. Lincoln gave it to her. Indra gave it to her. I didn’t, and I’m still paying my dues for it.  
“What is it, Bellamy?” Echo whispers. She always asks what is going on in my head. I wish I knew the answer.   
“I don’t know.”  
“Do you think she’ll be there?”  
“Who?”  
“Her.”  
Echo knows it’s always better to not say her name, not after that one time I almost set my tent on fire. It was…about a month after she left, more or less. Echo and I were eating dinner in my tent. Monty had brought us wild onion soup. The room was silent. At one point, I remember Echo saying her name. I don’t know exactly what she said, probably nothing hurtful or relevant, but I just snapped. I remember grabbing the bowl full of soup and just dropping it to the ground. I remember grabbing everything I could find to break it with my bare hands. I remember a candle falling on the floor and flames surrounding me. I also remember Echo putting out the fire and hugging me, wiping my face with the sleeve of her shirt.   
“No. No, she won’t.”  
“Okay.”  
We keep walking for hours until we arrive at a grounder village. It’s very small, but well equipped. The grounders who live here are allies of the Woods Clan, although they consider themselves nomads. They greet us with delicious food and drinks and I finally relax a little. Jasper and Miller are talking to a group of young men and women, while Octavia, Indra and Lincoln are probably discussing war strategies in Trigedasleng. I keep eating until I see a middle aged woman walking towards me with a shy smile on her face and a cup in her hand. I smile back instantaneously as she sits next to me.   
“Hello, heda of the Skaïkru,” she says. “My name is Nadja.”  
“I’m Bellamy. Nice to meet you.”  
“Are you enjoying your _sanch_?”  
“Yes, very much. Thank you, my companions and I appreciate your generosity.”  
“You’re welcome, heda. We’re allies of the Woods Clan, and now yours too,” she sips what looks like red wine. “I heard you’re leaving for Polis at first light.”  
“Yes, we are.”  
“I see,” she smiles again. “You’re just like I had imagined you to be.”  
I shrink. “Have we met each other before?” I ask.  
She shakes her head. “No, but I know who you are. I’ve heard many great things about you, heda of the Skaïkru. I’ve heard about your courage against the Mountain Men. Your sacrifices won’t be forgotten.”  
“Thank you, Nadja. May I…may I ask you who told you about me?”  
“Your _lukot_.”  
My friend…  
“Clarke ofthe Skaïkru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: thank you for reading! I really appreciate seeing people leaving kudos and comments on my work. It really motivates me, so thank you.   
> Secondly: from now on, every chapter is gonna have its own song, which is going to be written just below the chapter's number. I think it really helps understand the mood of what you're gonna read.  
> This chapter was short, I know, but I hope you liked it (especially the cliffhanger at the end). I have so many ideas and I can't wait to write them all down!   
> The next chapters will be longer. This was just a warm up.  
> Thank you again! Feel free to comment, it surely doesn't bother me!


End file.
